Talking about sexual health with someone new
Key facts
| How often (US advice) | Every 3 to 6 months for sexually active gay and bi men |
|---|---|
| UK clinics | No GP referral needed, and visits are confidential |
| PrEP in the UK | Free at NHS sexual health clinics |
| Tone | Calm, simple and without blame |
Talking about testing can feel awkward at first. It gets easier the more you do it. These facts help you start the conversation with confidence.
Make testing part of your routine
The CDC says sexually active gay and bisexual men may benefit from an HIV test every 3 to 6 months. Free self-tests and local testing sites are listed at gettested.cdc.gov. Knowing your status makes it easy to ask about theirs.
Source: CDC: Getting tested for HIV, checked 8 November 2026
Use a sexual health clinic in the UK
You can go to an NHS sexual health clinic without a GP referral, and nothing goes to your GP unless you ask. If you test positive, the clinic can tell partners for you without naming you. That takes a lot of the stress out of it.
Source: NHS: Sexual health for gay and bisexual men, checked 8 November 2026
Know your PrEP options
PrEP is free at NHS sexual health clinics in England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Talking about whether you each use it is a simple, practical way in. Your clinic can tell you if it's right for you.
Source: aidsmap: How to get PrEP in the UK, checked 8 November 2026
Questions
When should I bring up sexual health?
Before things get physical. A simple question about when you both last tested is enough.
What if they get defensive?
Keep it calm and blame-free. If someone won't talk about it at all, that tells you something.
Is testing free?
In the UK, NHS sexual health clinics are confidential and you don't need a GP referral. In the US, gettested.cdc.gov lists free and low-cost options.
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