Meeting gay men beyond the bar scene
Key facts
| Outdoors | OutdoorLads walks across England, Wales and Scotland |
|---|---|
| Singing | London Gay Men's Chorus, no need to read music |
| In New York | The Center hosts hundreds of groups |
| Why it works | Shared interests make conversation easy |
Bars are fun, but they're not for everyone, every week. Lots of gay men meet through hobbies, sport and community groups. Here are a few places to start.
Go for a walk with OutdoorLads
OutdoorLads is a charity running outdoor events for gay, bi and trans men, from gentle city walks to mountain days. Leisure walks don't need special gear. New members get coupons towards their first events.
Source: OutdoorLads: Gay walking groups in the UK, checked 8 November 2026
Sing with a gay men's chorus
The London Gay Men's Chorus rehearses on Monday evenings in Camden. You don't need to read music, and new members are usually invited once or twice a year. Some voice parts have long waiting lists, so register early.
Source: London Gay Men's Chorus: Join us, checked 8 November 2026
Find a group at your LGBT centre
In New York, The LGBT Community Center hosts hundreds of groups, from social clubs to classes. Its calendar has things like queer tango lessons. Many cities have a centre like it, so look up yours.
Source: The LGBT Community Center: Events calendar, checked 8 November 2026
Questions
Isn't it awkward to join a group to meet men?
Not at all. Most people go for the activity and the friends. If a date comes of it, that's a bonus.
What if I'm shy?
A group activity is ideal. You have something to do, and conversation comes more easily.
Can I still use dating sites too?
Of course. Many men do both. Meeting online and in real life work well together.
Read next
Our sister site Smooch has more first date ideas. WhichDating, our sister review site, has a guide to first date tips.